I’ve just shocked and surprised myself gentle reader. I opened the Youtube app to search for a video that I gave a thumbs up to (or liked) and found that I’ve actually liked over 2100 different videos over the course of the last three years, which is the length of time I’ve had my current phone.
2100 videos at an average length of between 1 to 3 minutes each is a lot of time spent staring at a small screen. Actually, now I think about it I’m not so much shocked as horrified. Yes, horrified at the vast amount of my valuable life that I have wasted scrolling through Youtube.
I could have spent that time a lot better. I could have written a whole full-length novel in that time. I could have gotten outside and explored the beautiful part of the world I’m fortunate to live in with the beautiful woman I’m fortunate to live with. Heck, I could have even been sleeping, which would have been more beneficial to my mind and body. I could have done absolutely anything it was in my power to do, but no, I wasted it scrolling Youtube.
Doom scrolling, I believe, is the phrase used in this technologically advanced time that we find ourselves living in. Nothing against technology; I’d be long dead by now if it weren’t for advancements in medical science, but there’s always a downside to technology and the downside with mobile phone technology is that its turned us all into mindless drones who spend half our time staring at the damn thing.
We all do it. Go into any pub, restaurant or café of your choice and just look at what people in there are doing. The vast majority will be scrolling their lives away on their phones. They could be having civilised discussions about Pacific Rim futures or the Industrial Revolution or the plight of the American bison. They could get together and formulate a plan for global peace or an end to world hunger. Instead, they’re doing a quiz on Facebook about what type of potato they would be.
It’s all got rather ridiculous.
I would kick myself in the pants if I actually could. And no, that’s not a job offer to anyone.
In the last year I’ve had three people walk into me in the street because they’ve been perambulating and scrolling at the same time. It’s now a serious offence to use your phone whilst driving but that didn’t stop a certain idiot from driving into the back of our car whilst on his phone as my gorgeous wife was innocently driving home from work in 2019. Our perfectly good car was written off and I don’t think Ange has fully gotten over it as she’s very nervous at times in the car now.
For goodness sake will you ever put your phones down and watch where you’re damn well going!
That’s one thing I do make sure of. If I’m on the move my phone stays in my pocket. The trouble with smart phones nowadays though is that they’re not simply phones anymore.
They used to be hand held telephones that initially had us all in awe and wonder that we could possess such a thing. The fact that we could call someone from wherever we were in the country or even send a text was beyond our wildest dreams. Some of them even had rudimentary games on them to help pass the time if we were in a genuine rut.
That was less than a quarter of a century ago. The smartphone of today is basically a hand held computer. They can do everything we could ask for and more. There are literally billions of apps available for everything from route finders to root vegetable recipes. If you can think of something there’s probably an app for it. Some of them are pretty useful but some are just unbelievably inane. I once saw one that was basically a candle. That was it. You opened the app and a candle appeared on the screen which you could then blow out with a swipe of your finger. Oh how thrilling to waste your life poncing about on a bloody candle app.
See what I mean about us all becoming drones?
The phone industry has got us by the short and curlies and the vast majority of us don’t even notice it. Why should we when we can sit on a bus and play Candy Crush or aimlessly scroll through Instagram. Why would we want to look out the window onto this drab and dreary old world when we have such electronic wonders just a tap away in the palm of our hands.
On a personal level I do use social media but that’s by and large just to keep in touch with the extended family and promote my writing. Yes, I do post jokes and memes but maybe that’s out of a sense of wanting to feel part of a movement. To be there in the heart of the technological revolution.
One thing’s for sure, I am now expressly determined to curtail a vast swathe of my internet scrolling and general time wasting. Perhaps I could do a sort of swear box kind of thing whereby if I doom scroll for more than five minutes I have to put a pound in a jar. That might just work. After all, just on the Youtube scrolling alone I could save about a grand in no time at all.
Alternatively, I could just get a bloody grip on myself and say, “Come on Alan, you’re better than this. Get off your sodding phone and do something constructive instead.”
That’s my goal from now on.
Down with this sort of thing!!! Well said!